A Pursuit of Passion - Season 1 - Episode 2

Introductory discussion continued with a few thoughts to munch on while on the road to discovery

Learn from Jonathan Davies and SWALLOW QUIETLY

What a beautiful listen it is!!! 

Let's ignore the natural melody of his voice and its depth... this is a genetic lottery he has won. the acquired skills in modulating, intoning and pronouncing right in various "voices" and impressions... 

•  this is a result of all the time he was able to put in to get here... 

 Let's ignore the perfect pausing and excellent pacing of the read... 

•  comes with experience, the technical team supporting the recording and of course the modern technology allowing such fine tuning and editing possible even if one isn't great at it. 

All the men, women (cis or trans) of this world who are working as audio book readers and voice actors, listen to this perfect SWALLOWING OF HIS SALIVA in between the reads. 

This for me is the absolute epitome of good reading. All those gum chewing, throat clearing "Talents" out there (I do not want to name and shame) listen to such GODS of the industry and learn. 

You may be the author or a "best selling" book who is now so empowered as to be demanded to read your own books because yes your audience and followers are dying to hear it, but the respect you pay to the people that are listening to you would be the first thing you might want to think about and train for. 

It doesn't matter if you have Victorian-lady-like-manner and dinner etiquette when you dine at home or out. Mastication, be it of a chewing gum while you record an audio book is about the worst idea ever thought of. 

And that when you are not trained to "keep it quiet" (even if you personally think is marvelous") is the worst damage you can do to the audio version of your "best seller" 

So kindly SWALLOW QUIET! 

 PS: In my future podcast episodes I will strive to practice my own advice or strive harder to edit them out :P

The pursuit of passion -series 1/episode 1

 

My very own podcast (series)

 I’ve uploaded my podcast on buzzsprout for now to make things easier for myself.

Submitted to the usual platforms such as apple podcasts and soon to be on spotify.  I’ll be sharing those links as well later once it is “live”.

I also thought belatedly of my own very little space right here.

I think if I have enough of you listening and I do one or two more I will start (try) hosting here directly and then also promoting on those two platforms.

Give it a listen and let me know what you think. Would love to hear your comments (here) or wherever you listen (and not on Facebook or Twitter which is where they will eventually get shared too).

For who am I...

Questions and doubts plague me a constant

Every word I spell a chore for I doubt

As I write I edit and delete

Changing them into submission and supplication

For who am I to dare to speak

For who am I to think worthy of being heard

For who am I to dare to voice

For who am I to feel I could

I mimic in misery while fully aware

That the brilliance of me that comes out at times

That makes you see, hear, laugh and may be even respect

Is nothing in truth but my disguise

Of the garment woven craftily from countless personalities

That I see, that I hear, that I read and am in awe of

Of the countless you’ll I constantly try to match and fail

For who am I to dare to dream

That I could truly be me and still matter...

In my darkness

In the dark center of my being

You come shining a gentle light

Albeit a gentle light it casts your shadows long...

They precede you in the race to help me

But aren’t I scared of the shadows around me...

Good or bad... shadows are mute 

And in the silence I hardly discern

I hear your feet on the heavy dust of my confidence scatter

Cowering in the corner I huddle into my arms

The only ones I trust...most days...

Aren’t I scared of the darkness for the shadows they hide...

Aren’t I scared of the darkness for the light they might let in...

Aren’t I scared of the darkness for the truth they hide

Aren’t I scared of your gentle light for what they might reveal...

Aren’t I scared...

ROOM - the movie —- An experience I want to share

One of the most impressive and impactful movies I have watched ever.  And that done in the subtlest way possible!

To handle a subject such as captivity, rape, confinement, sexual abuse without ever mentioning these words quite explicitly.  

And to keep a child’s innocence intact (as it would be if Jack’s story was real) as the child only sees as much.

But to then portray the complex and “almost incomprehensible beyond a point unless you’ve lived it” mix of emotions.

Poignant.  If you ever want to experience that word and it’s meaning then watching Room would be one way.  A most soul crushing way too.

Shudder to think of how many such tales are true life to countless humans.  Why we do this to each other.

The same psyche that can be as innocent and beautiful as Jack’s as a barely 5 year old boy can turn into the sick individual who leads to events of Jack’s being born and his living as he does is one of the many mysterious of Human brain and psychology for sure!

A movie to watch, behold, cry with and about, to lament those countless human lives that have lived such experiences and to lament the innocent children that are born and raised in such circumstances around the world and to sing praise for those countless resourceful parents who make the world for those children bearable and lovable if nothing else.  That’s what ROOM is for.  Go watch it.  

And yes for book lovers - this movie is an adaptation of the book by the same name.  I am eagerly waiting although with a sense of guilt and anxiety for I know how much the movie moved me and expect the book to do more to my emotions.

Here are the links to lookup the movie (rotten tomatoes) and the book (good reads)

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/room_2015

https://g.co/kgs/LC2Ewu

I could not shake it off and am still continuously playing it in bits and pieces in my head.  As a parent I can relate to it.  As a woman I can relate to it.  

I am looking at my child with renewed cherishing and realise how absolutely precious he is to me, to us, and every single child on this planet.

Can we make sure, as a society, we do all that we can to prevent little Jacks turning into Old Nicks?

And I say that fully aware of this being gender specific or relation specific, irrespective of geography or race or religion or philosophies.  This is a human responsibility to the human civilisation!

American Son - A Netflix Movie

I just watched the movie American Son yesterday and was impressed with the simplicity and the execution.

It deals with racism in today's USA and how the human factor complicates it in every side of the issue.

One word of caution though: It is a pure drama almost a stage play made into a movie.

Edit: Oh I just googled for a link to add to the blog when I mention the name above and I was right with my guess or naive depending on how you see it - it was a Broadway play adapted into a movie so yes a "stage play"!

It is the likes of Man from Earth in the respect that it is simply about listening to the conversation occurring between the main characters.  I still believe Man from Earth is a better movie of course but it is a completely different subject matter and this one has all its weight in the content and discussion more than the storytelling.  So I guess in that case it is apples to oranges so not fair.

Definitely worth watching is all I want to say.  And well done to the people involved in making this movie.

Paeranbu (பேரன்பு) - A movie review

Of course spoilers ahead so in case you care to watch this movie please do not read further. 

This is a post I have had nagging the back of my mind for a while now since I watched the movie "Peranbu" a few months ago.

I was trying to find the right adjectives to express my criticism with, without descending to swearing and fuming.

The plot of the movie?

An estranged father tries to bond with and care for his teenage spastic child and discovers his love for her as well as, her, as a person, in the process.

That sounds great; certainly a recipe for a great movie to come.  At least I thought so.  Well, impress me they did!

They got so many things wrong and narrowed on possibly all the wrong things that they managed to create a disaster even out of such a plotline with potential to succeed (not referring box office collection here).

First of all:  Estranged father not because of unfortunate circumstances but because he knew he had a spastic child and did not care enough for her or his marriage so he left them to suffer alone - oh wait - in his family home with his side of the family there to torment them in the usual Indian mom-in-law, daughter-in-law circumstances which he himself finds loathsome later on in the movie when he faces it first hand even though he has the son privileges.

So why is there the “Oh I am so lonely, and lost, and a victim” attitude being potrayed for the father character coming from, I do not understand.

The man left his family.  And with full knowledge of his actions and an outline of the consequences if not more.  He made sure to send money, oh yes.  Fine whatever but his coming back and trying to repair damage means he needs to buck up and face it.  Like a man, as they remind us from time to time in the movie.

“Oh, he is a man, how will he manage to bring up a teengaed spastic daughter with special needs”?  Wait a second!  Spastic aside even otherwise that is a tough task.  Do you mean to tell the parents of the world that it would be a breeze if only it had been a spastic son?  Or a ‘normal’ child? Or if he had his wife with him?

I can only see the narrow-mindedness of the people who wrote and made this movie in every aspect!

1) Bringing up a child responsibly and with love (irrespective of the gender of the child) is tough and an everyday battle - every parent out there can attest.

2) If you are a single parent it is even harder  - irrespective of the gender of the child.

3) If you are a single parent and have the child of the opposite gender then yes, hands down is going to be even tougher.

4) Owing to social constructs and the average narrow mentality present around a male caregiver and a female child, even if it were her own father with no malicious intent, it is tough when, that said child, reaches puberty and upwards.

5) Every child when growing up goes through puberty, adolescence, hormones and self discovery.  Irrespective of the gender of the child. Irrespective of whether the parent(s) are together caring for the said child.

6) In Indian society, mostly, parents find this phase awkward and avoid any discussion let alone educational and supportive.

7) Once a child, grows into its teens and has "needs"  - that they so tout in the movie as they they are teaching the public that these things exist - they will inevitably find channels to express and satisfy those needs unless "chastened" into discipline through the various channels employed across the world - religion, taboo, guilt, terror, superstition and the rest - unless they are educated into expressing themselves safely and their general focus and energies diverted into other things (hobbies, activities and what not) which a lot of Indian families do with all the extra curricular activities and/or the additional tuition taken for competing on various exams that happen to coincide around the time they usually start this hormonal journey.

Sorry, I digressed.  Point is, this is normal for every child, spastic or "normal", boy or girl, single parented or otherwise.

I am picking up this draft again at this point after another few months have passed and still can understand why I was in so much rage when I saw the movie!

To continue...

They are trying to convey that even special needs children have their normal hormonal journey and we need to acknowledge and guide them through it. Noble enough as it sounds the attitude portrayed while making the movie to convey this message is appalling.

This estranged father has come back not of his own realisation but only because his “wife” who he has not even visited in the last few years has decided to leave him and the child to go have her own life with another man.

And they label that wife in the wrong and call her act selfish and portray the husband as though he is generous when he accepts the fact that he was as much not a husband to her as he was not a father to the girl.

That’s not generosity my friend!

And then there are some specific things focussed on in this movie. How one night he tries to be a sport and tries to cajole his daughter’s playfulness out by performing various tricks and antics. Then they show him defeated and crying to create sympathy but sorry all it evokes is surprise that you would expect this in just a few hours of trying to be friendly! 

And then there is his narrow mindedness in trying to keep his daughter away isolated and secluded with not an idea of trying to school or educate her or help in anyway except physically using a lady help or himself in the end.

And then he tries his home and hometown only to realise it’s not going to work in the society he lives in.

He moves to a town/city in the end and his idea of securing her better is to lock her up in a hotel room with food and drink and tv and go out to earn money.  Seriously?!

He then worries massively when he sees her go through a phase where she tries to kiss the tv screen to kiss her favourite actor like she has seen them do in the movies and videos she watches endlessly while he is out.  He also finds the hotel service men starting to take advantage of her innocence and need for social contact and panics.

He puts her in an asylum-school for special needs children based on someone’s advice only to realise that they use physical abuse to discipline them.

While all this is on he befriends a transgender lady only to misunderstand the care and affection she shows.

Then he tackles the issue of his daughter’s increasing sexual needs head on and goes in search of social welfare organisations and pleasure centres to fetch a Male prostitute that he could engage for his daughter’s sake! That is the “epitome of love” that they mean in the title of this movie! What nonsense. As the social welfare rightfully slaps the man that is what the director’s attitude needs too! She is a 14 year old little girl with special needs, no schooling, no parenting, no friends and no society to speak of! How does he intend to ensure that the Male prostitute will not take advantage of her, will show her healthy love and respect and will treat her right? How will he ensure his daughter enjoys it? How does he even know she wants that? Where and how would he find consent! And her age means it’s rape and illegal!!! I mean she wanted to kiss an actor and discovered how to pleasure herself! NOT THE SAME THING AS WANTING TO ENJOY TIME WITH A MALE PROSTITUTE! And she is 14!!! what is wrong with you guys?

He tries to do his research and finds out that all such children have needs and the parents or helpers or other significant people in their lives help them even in the front of satisfying their pleasures almost as routinely as giving them a bath-just a chore and they both know it.  He can’t handle anyway so he goes to his now separated wife who he realises is the wife of another man and mother to a brand new “normal” baby who wants nothing to do with him or his spastic daughter anymore.  

After this extreme awkwardness he gets his daughter the school uniform that she so covets to take her to a beach where he intends to quietly murder her by drowning her in the middle of the night while he himself commits suicide convincing himself that this is the only option left. Here we see the shade of the same man who left his family away only sending money from overseas. The same escapism. The same attitude with shunning responsibilities.  Incompetence and defeat of a man being portrayed as an object of sympathy! What a load of rubbish! 

There are so many things that are wrong in all these things. Would be such an idiot to just go get your daughter in the care of an asylum without understanding the terms? Would you be so naive as to even think you could leave her locked up.  One thing that strikes me though is - is this a reality I am unaware of? Is this a reality that people live everyday when they do not have the education or awareness? In that case may be I can acknowledge some of those things as plausible. But I can’t imagine that reality and that is where the movie fails for me or I fail to grasp it.

Then there is the transgender friend who obviously rescues them, gives him a new life and meaning by becoming his wife and willingly caring for the child as though her own and we see him reaching at his work desk while his “wife” takes the onus!  So all he needed from beginning to end was a wife who would work her back off to care for him and his special needs child while he could escape the reality into a man’s job everyday!  

How come no one in the movie set saw the faults!!?  And the part where the daughter pleasures herself. It’s great that a Tamil movie is bold enough to show something like this. But with the previous scenes showing the limits of her hand coordination and the neglect portrayed his her long uncut and dirty finger I shudder to think what mutilation rather than pleasure she would have effected on herself if this character was not fictional!

For dealing with a difficult subject well done. 

For attempting to convey a social message well done.

For the message itself - think hard and rephrase!

For the characters attitude and mindset - really?

For the movie as a whole - I am sad that so many people supported it let alone celebrated it.

We need to think things through as a society and just because someone deals with a difficult subject does not mean it is automatically laudable!

Peranbu is definitely not the kind of Anbu I want in my life or anyone’s I know.  This is what is wrong with all the abusive and hateful relationships that we see around us!  

Love as the intention does not excuse the faults in the expression of it!!