"Do not argue for the sake of it... You do not know anything... Why do you support them so much, anyway?" asked my dad, losing his patience over my constant unrelenting argument that homosexuality is nothing but a very natural and common thing and in fact is even genetically oriented... I looked at him, looking at me with a slight scrutinizing look, hiding his worries and anxiety over what my answer was going to be, if at all I understood the question correctly - "in the actual sense of it"... I replied, quite 'straight' to his face: "Why dad?, are you worried I am a Lesbian?" and the little pause that I gave there was filled with my dad's interjection "ya may be, so....?", for which I answered quite truthfully, "Don worry dad, I am not", but swallowed the other half of the sentence, "not yet, for I do not even know what it truly means to be an heterosexual in the first place, if u know what I mean"... I could see a slight sigh of relief though I should say he really hid it well... I do not blame him, he was acting like any normal Indian, "father of a college going daughter". He would probably have "killed me for honor" if I had happened to be a lesbian, or may be he would have done the usual "kill-myself-n-may-be-even-kill-u Indian families sentiment" stunt. Anyway it wouldn't have been pleasant for sure. But one has to appreciate my dad, no "Indian dad" would be discussing such a 'taboo' thing with his daughter so openly. Yes I am lucky in that way, he is quite understanding and matured. But I was persistent and still am (I had started and stored the first part of this blog in a note pad about an year and a half ago), because I wanted my-Dad-like-people to understand that "it is NOT against the nature", striking out the very first line of their argument, the forerunner in all their banners and slogans...
Yes, thanks to the scientific community, things have come to light which have
been in darkness for a long while now, but mind you, have always "been"...
There's a saying in Tamil that goes "A cat closes its eyes and thinks the world's gone dark" (I know it is a poor translation, bear with it my Tamil friends)... It is so so true in this case; just because people have been blind or rather have chosen to be blind to it, as in many cases, does not mean that alternative sexual orientation doesn't exist.
First of all, it is a common phenomenon (is that the right word here?) in most animals.
Second, there have been genetic research results that say there are, certain genetic tendencies towards alternative sexual orientation of a person.
Third, it has been there for a long long time, may be not visible, or known much to the common folk, (at least in the Indian scenario) but it has been there...
One concern that parents express is that it may just become a trend, because of "westernization" or "modernization". A true concern. But if you are open enough to agree that this is nothing but a personal choice then, no need to worry anymore.
One more genuine concern, may be the only factual one, is that the possibility of acquiring a "Sexually Transmitted Disease" is quite high in the gay community. But once people are recognized, then the rate of "discreet" and hence "unsafe" sex should go down and hence the incidence of such diseases.
Another genuine concern is how do we distinguish a "relationship" from "attempts of violence". We have to learn from other countries where it has been legalized and try to improve if need be and implement such laws and methodologies.
PS: The day I completed another 25% of this blog, Delhi High Court declared homosexuality of adults with mutual consent legal, and suggested constitutional amendment to Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.
Do chk out (click on it if you've not noticed it's a link) the following article, it says a lot of things I wanted to discuss and more...
TOI July 03, 2009 Article:
NO ROOM FOR PRUDES
Who Says Homosexuality Is Against Indian Culture? Certainly Not Our Ancient Texts
When gayness was out in open, not a matter of guilt,
Devdutt PattanaikPeople were looking at me with an amused and a mocking curiosity when I felt genuinely happy for the LGBT community upon hearing the news.
Wanted to add a lot of arguments and discussion son the subject but enough articles and such have been published since July 03 that I do not want to reiterate them. But whoever is reading this blog is welcome to post a commment and start an argument/discussion as you may choose to call it. I think it'll only broaden our individual perspectives.
Declaration: I being a heterosexual single, am completely aware of the difficulty, writing this blog will add, to the change in my status of "single-dom", an already difficult task ahead... ;P