Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Like a broken man...

Like a broken man, u r dwelling in ur past...
revelling in wat u were... and hating wat u r…
like an old man showing his foto to his grandchildren n saying "look how young I was"
and the smile tat spreads on his face wen his grandchildren say
"oh grand D, u were so smart"....
tats wat u r doing a role play, ur soul and its twin part...

Like a broken man, dwelling in ur past...
Killing urself softly, hurting urself and suffering the searing pain...
will this take back wat I did, will this make up for my mistakes...
melting hot iron and trying to fill the holes in ur soul...

Like a broken man, dwelling in ur past...
revelling in wat u wer... and hating wat u r…
walking with a hunched back…
unable to bear the ignominious weight of ur sins…
too proud to look into the eyes of others, for if u walk tall and bold u know u wud c the blame
ur alter ego smacking its lips at the taste of the blood u spilt…

Like a broken man, dwelling in ur past,
Trying to lose urself in persecution,
Trying to swallow it all down ur throat…
Struggling to forgive urself,
Yearning for the peace it wud give, if u wer able to…

But Alas, ur conscience is having a ball of a time, having so much to pick at and prick…
And to avopid all this,
U live like a broken man, dwelling in ur past…
Reveling in wat u wer… and hating wat u r…


PS: Wrote it for the Mr.X, a friend I mentioned in Shared sin... To make him realize what he has become so that he changes for the better... I am happy to say it worked, I am so obsessed with myself to say only because of my words, but it did contribute a bit towards his getting better...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Many people suffer from the 'I-am-a-loser' or 'I-was-great-but-I-suck- now' syndrome. I feel that it has got more to do with bitterness that comes with mistakes/blunders made in the past and our inability to see beyond them and forgive ourselves. A similar attitude holds true and persists for our past successes too.... 'Moving-on' seems to be the biggest problem

ujwala said...

@ Anonymous:
Self doubt is a big problem people have. Most people do not have a good self image deep within which is the root cause of all these feelings. Even I suffered or rather suffer from it. Self blame and sort of a martyr complex... I am not able to find the exact term for it. Self acceptance and being happy/content with one's own image is very important, and people need to introspect and work on it. Well, I am trying.

Leonhart said...

loosing sucks eh...series of such events creates this Self doubt,i guess...but like Crowe said "anybody whos on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage,its possible"..i guess that goes well with any kinda blalabla situations one could face... ;)...
and
aaaaaaaaamen to both of ya :)

and joshi...such scary words would defntly mess with anyones messed minds to move on for good... lolz ...;)... sema :)