Monday, October 05, 2009

I am sorry but I will haunt you.....

I hide in the shadows of the dark...
Slowly start to limp back to my graveyard...
For I know you felt me when I saw the slight shiver that went through you when you came too close... Similar to the hot blast I felt at my navel

When I heard the giggle and the slight snuggle, I died again...
For I know there's another soul that you are seeking...
To try and be happy, to be with, all your life, to live, to create beautiful memories...

And I cried there again for the ten thousandth time or may be more...
Silent sobs and loud dry tears... Wept like a wet sag squeezed to dry...
I know you can't see me, I know you can't hear me... I know you can't touch me...
But it is no different from when I was alive... Even then you did not do any of this.
Yes there is a feeble difference. THEN you DID NOT, NOW you CANNOT.

But strangely enough, now, you know when I am there, at least there's a physical reaction from your body.
I'm more visible now, after I am dead than I was when alive...

I know I am nothing but a haunting soul dying every minute of my whispy existence...
I know I am no more dead than the numb hours I spent looking out my window when you were happily whispering lines into HER ears.

But I know I have always been alive in those moments I watched you with nothing else to do with my life...
I was there, I am here. All the same. I was and still feel alive when I watch the sun play its rays on your strands of hair, sticking out unruly
when you bend down to whisper to Her.

Oh that day when my heart broke into shards, when I caught you in a corner, with your eyes full of love looking into hers...
When I saw those strong eyes melting and melting into those soft eyes of hers, on your strong handsome face...

That is when I died again... For that love was what I was craving for and it was right there in front of me, but no no, not for me.
That is when I lived the fullest, for I had seen that love in those eyes, that sight, my salvation.
Though not for me, it was there, as I had always imagined, may be more wonderful than in my dreams.
Well, I could accommodate a slight change, SHE was there instead of ME.

Funnily enough I never felt jealous of her.
Yes I died every time I saw you with her but that was mostly because my heart seemed to forget to beat when you were around...
Even more so when it realizes that you are not walking in my direction to meet me but to meet HER... another.

I am extremely sorry but I cannot help it. I will haunt you for ever. For here lies my heaven...
In those strong eyes... I am decent enough to let you live your life in the privacy you deserve.
But I will haunt you, in those moonlit nights you walk down alone, left to your own thoughts.
I will haunt you when you sleep alone, dreaming blissfully, just to look at you.
I will haunt you when you sing to yourself and smile, a romantic song, in practice to sing for that other lucky soul in your life.

I am content with watching you for the rest of my non existent life.
I am content with the slight shiver you feel when I brush a little too close, forgotten in those eyes.
That shiver indicating you felt me. That is enough. There lies my heaven. I choose to roam wild for this bliss.
I am no unfortunate soul, but a blessed one for I am eternally in love and I died when I was in love.
I am blessed for I died before I got options to confuse me
Before some guy comes to me and says "you are more visible to me than anything else in the world"... like you were for me...
Before somebody takes me for a partner for life out of sympathy or for some cunning reasons.

I am a blessed soul. I seek my heaven here. I will try to take care to not get too close to you too often.

I am sorry but I will haunt you.

For the people who know me well: No it is not about who you think it is about; sorry "you", the guy these ppl think it is abt.
So all of you, I am yes, the kind that would love someone so bad, but not yet... Will surely yell the name out when I do, so don't waste your energies assuming and/or speculating... :)

4 comments:

vrraghy said...

very nice...! :)

siddharth said...

hmmmm :)

Leonhart said...

the woman s so soaked in luv...nicely said...makes me wanna call the man a POOR GUY......for he not have his eyes open....

ujwala said...

@vrraghy: :)

@siddhrath: :)

@leonhart: :) thanx... ah, one more thing, do i know, don seem to b able to recall... understand if u wish to remain anonymous... thanx for dropping by anyway...